Your dreams are not yours alone

October 20th, 2008 | by Vijayaraghav |

 

Your dreams are not yours

alone

 

 

 

 

You asked her to make-do in a one-room apartment. She did. You got up at 3 to watch the World Cup. She made tea. You never had to worry about your health, your mom, your kids. She did. You sometimes forgot to say, I love you. She never did. Your dreams are not yours alone.

 

 

 

This is the advertisement of Union Bank of India, which got stuck in my mind. The sentence “your dreams are not yours alone” passed through the heart and embraced my conscience. I kept the newspaper aside and started thinking about my role as a husband. Though it may look embezzled, I felt the reality that I am in the same category as mentioned in the advertisement.

 

 

 

In the rush of time, we seldom forget to think deeply about others, their feelings and dreams. These days the working hours are terribly uncertain. You plan something and end up in something else within no time, as the priority gets changed every now and then. If I discuss this with my wife, she will definitely laugh at me because she is also working and handles a responsible position and knows about the vagaries of work life. The surprising part is that she still manages time between work and home very smoothly. Whenever I tried to extend a helping hand to ease her pressure, I landed up in making a mess of the whole thing.

 

 

 

I stopped thinking about it further realizing that it will not take me anywhere, as it is difficult to revisit the lost opportunities.

 

 

I opened my mailbox to check the mail and spotted a mail of a consultancy firm. It said: Everything in life is temporary. Darkness of the night or brightness of the day. Even sunrise is temporary, so is sunset. If things are going good, enjoy it, it won’t last forever. And if things are going bad, don’t worry coz it won’t last forever either. Everything just passes by.

 

 

 

I had a relief by thinking that if things are going good enjoy it, suddenly I paused for sometime thinking about the reality that it won’t last forever. Good times and bad times just pass according to the destiny. We have to take a firm resolve to contemplate both with self-realization. When good times come you have to preserve some rays of happiness for bad times.

 

 

 

I read somewhere that life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a lemon in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the lemon falls, there is no point you come first. Same is with life. Your striving is only worth if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but the feeling of being excited and alive, will gradually start to die.

 

 

 

I looked through the glass window. Nature is always there whenever I look up for solace. The sublimity and indifference persisting in nature always make me wonder. While looking at the numerous trees and its eye-catching greenery, I thought for a while how insubstantial my thoughts were. Let me do something worthwhile before they engulf me once again.

 

 

 

It’s really surprising that an advertisement like these made me really crazy. Nowadays companies are striving hard to influence our emotional equilibrium. Most of the times their promotional gimmicks act as motivation and prompt us to look back to our life very closely.

 

 

 

I picked up the phone and ordered for a coffee. A strong coffee is essential to plan for a resurrection.

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  1. 54 Responses to “
    Your dreams are not yours alone”

  2. By evocat on Oct 20, 2008 | Reply

    Amazing post Vijay, I hope u r resurrected. One more thing, I was thinking along the same lines when I saw the Union Bank of India advert. Cheers to our life partners who make home a home. Rgds Raj

  3. By InkTank on Oct 20, 2008 | Reply

    i am dying to see this advt sir………which inspired u to write such a graceful and noble post! super writing………

  4. By Priya on Oct 20, 2008 | Reply

    yes !! so true….a dream is not only ours but it invovles other people and they have a lot of expectations from us so we have to keep tht in mind to!
    i like this advert to!
    Your blogs give me inspiration always

  5. By radhakrishna on Oct 20, 2008 | Reply

    Its these very small things that we had ignored,without ever realising their importance or giving it their due place that wqe find we are at the recieving end,the reason for the spate of divorces that are pending before the family courts,why and how these happened,How was it ,that we simply took it all for granted?if only we had the patience,would it have ever reached the breaking point

  6. By S U N I L on Oct 21, 2008 | Reply

    hi, i m sunil, yes, u r right dear.
    our dreams are not ours.some time we neglect those things, which is uccuring around us. some people says that ur life is yours, so u have to live it your own style.
    its very true, bt we have to see around us, what is going on around us. our life depends on those people, who are living with us. this is a very nice thinkling of yours.
    thanks for sharing, dear!!!!!!!!!
    i m not married, so i m nt understend these things, bt little bit i m agree with you. buy!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. By sundari on Oct 21, 2008 | Reply

    very true vijay,
    these ads do seep into us and make us realise many things that we take for granted, and a beautiful blog here hope u include to say i love you to her, even a silent hug would do to convey this momentous life

  8. By savita on Oct 21, 2008 | Reply

    Generally in Indian context, a girl and a boy get marry with tons of dreams and lots of affection for each other but later as time pass by still they both are walking together but instead of hand in hand , wife starts following husband. The life becomes the race to acheive the husband’s dream and wife’s dream is to see that his husband’s dreams get fullfilled.

  9. By Rajiv on Oct 21, 2008 | Reply

    Oh ! yes , one advertisement does somuch to you, takes out the BEST in you, so I am thankful to Union Bank’s advertisement, which made you write this exemplary page….I was really thinking hard how smaller attributes, make you realize a dream of a lifetime, at the same time make you realize your follies…..How very well have you inscribed all of this in your page…..Brilliant.

  10. By Nidhi M on Oct 21, 2008 | Reply

    Just this morn i noticed this ad myself and found it v sensitive,ur post is equally sensitive,makes one realize how much we take for granted when dreams after a certain point belong to the entire family.

  11. By Anu Uppal on Oct 21, 2008 | Reply

    See, how we learn to balance harmony in life and we are taught that since childhood.(the spoon n the lemon)..
    A nice write up, i enjoyed it..cheers.

  12. By writer on Oct 21, 2008 | Reply

    It is so nice that such little things could inspire you to write so much about life. Keep coming/

  13. By Niraimathi on Oct 21, 2008 | Reply

    A beautiful narrative in your poetic style. I am so happy that my post is the side of yours.

  14. By shiwani on Oct 21, 2008 | Reply

    excellent narration as always…to tell you women are good at multi tasking…men aren’t! your writings are so diverse… life, nature, relationships….ur interpretations of the things are really good… ‘your dreams are not ur alone”…. you’ve explored the depth of this statement!

  15. By Saveen on Oct 21, 2008 | Reply

    The us transforms to the I and then finally to the we and backto us again during the course of a life time…I thinkpeople get stuck at the I part….good read….

    - Cynk

  16. By Santosh n on Oct 21, 2008 | Reply

    I will not call this an effective ad as it made you think about everything else but money and banking. Hence a good creative can hardly be a good selling proposition as well.
    Women can multitask a lot better than men essentially because the bulk of the female workforce look at employment as a means to enhance domestic income and not as a career prospect. The focus and the competitive edge is hence missing but the energy is very much there post working hours. Regds,

  17. By G U R U on Oct 21, 2008 | Reply

    Many times i heard this add on TV but never touched as much as your words does……….truly amazing lines……only few people are who always been successful writing heart touching posts and you are one of them……..thanks

  18. By moosje on Oct 22, 2008 | Reply

    GOOD WRITING KEEP ON BLOGGING

  19. By Vinu on Oct 22, 2008 | Reply

    Nice to read…wonderful writings….keep writing…

  20. By preetesh on Oct 22, 2008 | Reply

    right sir dream are not alone ..
    always dream are releted to some things..
    …………………………………..Some person…
    ………………………………….and any things .
    releted to you and your feeling .

  21. By Sneha on Oct 22, 2008 | Reply

    Very well said VJ yes some of the ads really play with our emotions atleast they are giving us a chance to look back and appriciate samll things in life :) Did you see the vodafone ad??? love that one too.

  22. By charu jain on Oct 22, 2008 | Reply

    hi!! Vijayaraghav… i agree with you totally… i am married and working as well … sometimes it becomes very difficult to manage….but end of the day you have to do it……as you
    we are taught to manage multiple things since childhood.Great isn’t it !!! :-)

  23. By lalli on Oct 22, 2008 | Reply

    yeah so true vijay..we women could balance very well..as charu jain stated that we have been trained to manage..gr8 ofcourse!! well superb post from you vijay..im yet to see that advt.:(sure i will ctch it 2day..:)

  24. By ansyton on Oct 22, 2008 | Reply

    Mr.Vijayragaavu.it is in the form of an advertisement , news ,single line of a song, or a photograph through which we are inspired or influenced…But it happened when it enter in to a heart where it is processed well…You are having such a valuable heart …congrats,….

  25. By shailesh on Oct 22, 2008 | Reply

    Kee masti chal rahee hai. Still in ibibo blogs.

  26. By Sunita on Oct 22, 2008 | Reply

    Friend,

    The devil is in the detail.
    Too much thinking can spoil a relationship, just being warm and affactionate is enough,
    Most of the times.

    Sunita Rao

  27. By danendra on Oct 23, 2008 | Reply

    I am unable to understand where all money of the bank has gone after failure of Lehman Brothers in USA. Everyday or alternate day Mr. P. Chidambram Finance Minister or RBI governor or Mr. Manmohan Singh PM has to give a statement that there is no liquidity problem in the banks, our banks are well capitalized, we are not that much affected by global crisis, our stock market is well regulated, we are keeping watch on the developments taking place in the world, proper steps will be taken to ensure adequate growth rate and so on………

    Contrary to various statements released by government of India or Governor of RBI, they have been announcing one after other bail out package every now and them to inject more liquidity in the banks, to stop further fall in the stock market, to ensure that aviation sector does not succumb to bankruptcy or closure, banks are not short of cash to meet borrowing demand of corporate sector, or to have adequate capital in the banks.

    All these proves that the situation is not being well ,properly and correctly assessed by rulers and regulators, or the policy is not being rightly and honestly executed by the agencies who are supposed to follow the rules and guidelines or else the policy diagnosed by the government to meet the current crisis is defective and not to the point. Problem may lie in the heart and the government may be treating the leg.

    It is true FII’s ARE TAKING OUT THEIR MONEY BECAUSE they need the same in their own country ,because of more acute crisis in USA , because of sharp rise demand of dollars, and not because of restriction of PN imposed by the government in 2007 nor is it that Indian growth story is unsatisfactory compared to that of other nations .

    And after all how much FII’s have withdrawn during last month is a billion dollar question? Our foreign exchange reserve has come down from 312 billion dollar to perhaps 287 billion dollar, i.e. a withdrawal of 25 billion dollars.

    Is it more than what has been injected into the system by our FM by way of sharp cut in CRR, easing our PN Norms, reduction in repo rate, advising cash rich government departments to park their surplus fund in PSU banks, release of Agriculture Debt relief fund to banks and so on

    Is their any account of inflow and outflow of the money from banks to match the government induced / injected liquidity?

    Now the time has come that the public will demand white paper from the government on economic events unfolding every day, on painful erosion of public money in share markets, on deteriorating position of banks and so on….

    Economists, Financial Analysts, veteran bankers, stock markets experts and even journalists is duty bound as also has the right to explain the general mass of the country why the Indian system claimed to be strong has been exhibiting weakness after weakness forcing the government to take step after steps.

    Is it not true that government is unable to stop the activities of Institutions which are working in the style of Harshad Mehta or Ketan Parikh?

    Is it not true that due to weak and ineffective judicial system, willful defaulting borrowers of the banks are not repaying their dues to banks resulting in liquidity crisis in the banks?

    Is it not true that due to frequent waiver of loan by the government during last decades, a wrong culture has taken root in the country that people take it wise not to repay the loan taken by them from banks with the hope in their mind that sooner or later government will announce some package to provide relief to defaulters?

    Similarly is it not true that corporate and state governments ,government department, PSU’s are not paying their dues resulting in liquidity crisis?

    Is it not true that government is pressurizing banks to disburse more and more loans and not taking proper steps to ensure that money lent by banks is recovered in time to maintain flow of funds and to ensure proper recycling of the fund ?

    Is it not true that in the name of social welfare schemes or to ensure strength in political vote banks , government is spending unwisely on subsidies , aids, relief, rebates and so on…….?

    Is it not true that ministers are spending lavishly on their tours, inaugural functions, rallies etc?

    Lastly I want to know the reason of present crisis with correct figure and entire ins and outs of the matter , pros and cons of the current crisis .Can anyone help me?

    Whether import of crisis from USA is unavoidable? If our health is damaged due to wrong diet of Mr. Bush then we should try to treat Mr. Bush first.

    Danendra Jain
    23rd October 2008

  28. By S U G A R on Oct 23, 2008 | Reply

    A beautiful writeup Vijay,very thoughtful of you to mention this advertisement,yes I too saw it and loved it.Your respect and suport for women reflects in this post,thanks for being so considerate and supportive,regards,d eepa

  29. By Shivaraman on Oct 23, 2008 | Reply

    I think I must thank the advertiser first. Whether it gave a desired result to the bank or not, it has certainly helped to get a wonderful post. The duality and the impermanence are two inseparable part of our life. So, why not live in present and accept anything unconditionally?

  30. By Mohan Vaze on Oct 24, 2008 | Reply

    Interesting post. The chain of thoughts is facinating. Yes we are not alone. As a part of the society our dreams, actions and thoughts do have an impact on many more people around us. Interestingly at the same time we are also alone, occationally very much isolated also. Best regards.

  31. By Yogam on Oct 24, 2008 | Reply

    Best posting. I feel sorry to have read it so late. I am also happy at least One Person started thinking positively. A little care by the Man of the house towards his wife will go a long way in a happy family.

    Happy Diwali to u all

  32. By Idle Mind on Oct 25, 2008 | Reply

    Good to see that you never ‘fell’ for the ad. These days we are forced to emote, and even if there are still some sensitive feelings and emotion left at home, they are mauled by force emotions from ads. Glad that you asked for coffee … I would have just shut my computer down!

  33. By Nishu's on Oct 26, 2008 | Reply

    which…advt is this…..must be nescafe…advt…… ..

  34. By Nishu's on Oct 26, 2008 | Reply

    Happy Polluted Free Deepawali…..

  35. By sonia on Oct 26, 2008 | Reply

    That was quite a read and couldn’t agree more. The ads play with the emotions and often a sensitive one is singled out. Such realisations are welcome, for it makes one see light. Things are not taken for granted all the time and the value of the moment realised.

    In a marriage, it takes two to make a success of it. Sometimes one is more tolerant and adjusting, sometimes the other…….so that harmony prevails and life is a little smooth.

    Beautiful post and very sensitive….

    Happy diwali to u and ur loved ones.

    tc

  36. By Madhu Vamsi on Oct 27, 2008 | Reply

    hi vijay, how are u doing??? Wow Union Bank of India’s ad made you think so much about your life. I thought what is bank has to do with onces own life and I am account holder of this bank and the service of the bank is very average. But your question to your wife is interesting, I do not think your wife will laugh. She will give answer…

    Happy Deepavali to you and your family… Have nice day… :)

  37. By Anuchinta on Oct 27, 2008 | Reply

    Nice post. Enjoyed it.

  38. By Rashmi on Oct 27, 2008 | Reply

    When I saw that ad I realised that many times we take so much for granted…we forget that we live in a family, in a society…we have to share…so much….even our dreams…a gr8 post…Wish you and your near & dear ones a very happy Diwali !!

  39. By MRIDUL BORA on Oct 28, 2008 | Reply

    Love your way of observations. Really, there are sentences which have some deeper meanings which we rarely think about.

  40. By Brian N on Oct 29, 2008 | Reply

    Your dreams are not yours alone- Close your eyes my little one,Close your eyes and dream,You can be anyone,
    Anyone you dream.You can go anywhere,Do anything,
    Be anyone,Just close your eyes,And dreams your dreams.
    =============================
    Brian
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  41. By Gopa on Oct 29, 2008 | Reply

    Excellent post. I especially liked the way to concluded. So you are in a contemplative mood these days.

  42. By raja on Oct 29, 2008 | Reply

    nicely done. saw the advertisement but your blog conveyed more meaning to the reality rather than the advertisement.

  43. By Miranda . on Oct 30, 2008 | Reply

    Magnificent post dear Vijar…!! Wish to you & your family a Very Happy Deepawali…!!

  44. By Wu simin on Oct 31, 2008 | Reply

    i am touched by you.although i can’t unterstand it well.
    life is so fast like the running water ,so we must enjoy it.
    the most precious thing we have is life
    let’s enjoy it.
    be happy.always…!!

  45. By Kishore on Nov 1, 2008 | Reply

    Thank u very much for giving me this perception sir. I also had never noticed this. But still i have a question, what if ur big dreams, the way u think does not fit in with the people around u? I have been facing this also. How much ever I try to exist with all but most of the times doesn’t happen with all around me. I’d like to know if there’s anythin that could be done for this..
    Regards

  46. By Shrihari on Nov 1, 2008 | Reply

    Very nicely said and thanks for sharing such good information. Can Road Accidents be avoidable? Visit my new post & comment on it

  47. By Surya Pratim on Nov 1, 2008 | Reply

    You nicely converted and given a shadowed shape of your irregular thought through the irregular strokes of the minds brush on the canvas of your ibibo post! Soothing read!…..Blazing Sun!

  48. By a banerji on Nov 2, 2008 | Reply

    very thought provoking… now, even i am trying to find out if i am selfishly dreaming for myself….

    it was a wonderful read…!

  49. By uma babu on Nov 2, 2008 | Reply

    i had read the ad but i never knew it had such a beautiful meaning. a beautiful explanation.

  50. By Madhu Vamsi on Nov 2, 2008 | Reply

    Hi how are u doing?? posted new one, please have a look in your free time… :)

  51. By Tingtong on Nov 2, 2008 | Reply

    how true..your dreams r not yours alone…excellent post…i’m late to comment, as always..
    how r u?

  52. By debasree tap on Nov 3, 2008 | Reply

    upload your videos in http://www.uploaded. tv and earn money so easily

  53. By ansyton on Nov 8, 2008 | Reply

    Mr.Vijay you Were regularly writing what happened?

  54. By Amit Bhatia on Nov 20, 2008 | Reply

    Great thought. Honestly speaking, I saw the advertisement, but never thought about it the way you thought. We all love our spouse, but not very often we show it to them, neither we try to put our feet in their shoes. Hats up to you…….

  55. By shristi on Dec 25, 2008 | Reply

    Estupendo….

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