Yesterday night, just as I was strolling in my garden, I happened to glance at the sky. It was a clear starry night. I kept staring. The stars seemed to come alive before my eyes. They seemed to be saying something to me…..
Suddenly some of the stars seemed to take the shape of beautiful lady. I kept staring, mesmerized. To my surprise, the lady put forward her beautiful starry hand.. it came straight out of the sky and rested on my head.. my eyes closed by themselves.. the world started revolving around me, slowly at first and then faster..
After some time, everything stopped.. it became calm and quiet… I suddenly realized that the whole year of 2009 is open before me like a book, in my mind’s eye… The queen of stars had conferred on me, the power to foresee what the stars held in the coming year…
Hurray!! I could predict the events that were going to unfold in 2009!!
Are you people interested in knowing about them? See, I morally feel that I shouldn’t disclose all, especially not those juicy tit bits related to scandals & all. Those are best kept secret. However, I’ll let you have a glimpse of a few other predictions…
1. First and the foremost, the event which will change the future of our beloved country India and make it a super power…
Surprised? But that’s going to be true.. All the people of India will unite, come together and put a huge pressure upon the politicians to perform, to forget their petty differences and for a change, work towards the betterment of our country.
Yes, this coming Loksabha elections will see a rearranged equation among the politicians. The two biggest parties and some top politicians of other parties will fight these elections under a single banner of Bharatiya Jana-Congress Party with the most important agenda of “Ushering development and Banishing terrorism once for all”.
2. Promising immunity against taxes, the new government will undertake a survey of the amount of gold, cash and investments owned by all the citizens of the country. And what a revelation it will be!!
The total Gold stock kept with individual Indian public plus the RBI reserves will amount to much more than the total gold stored in Fort Knox…
Fort Knox in Kentucky, USA, holds the United States Bullion Depository which contains the official gold reserves of the United States of America.
This huge declared wealth will make India an economic super power!!
3. Instead of declaring a war against terrorists, the new government will adopt a different strategy. Our planes, spies and agents will drop down or distribute leaflets & pamphlets about teachings of Mahatma Buddha and Gandhiji.. about Ahimsa (non-violence)… in Pakistan, Afghanistan borders and other such terrorist hideouts and training camps, also in all our neighboring countries and in our own country too.
And surprise, surprise!! Many of the terrorists will begin to adopt Buddha’s values and the remaining will start following Gandhiji’s principles. The misguided souls in our own country too will begin to see reason and shun violence.
Aha..Peace at last!!
4. There is another problem plaguing the country.. that of Ram Setu (Thought to be a bridge built by Lord Ram between India & Srilanka). Due to mythological and historical reasons, many people do not want it to be destroyed. However, it will be very much beneficial if the ships cross the ocean at this place, as it reduces the distance of traveling and cuts down hugely in costs.
So, our most intelligent and efficient engineers will devise such a system of inter-locking doors, even more advanced that the Panama canal one, so that when a ship enters through the door, the doors will lock behind. Then huge pumps will pump in sea water to raise the level of the sea artificially much above the Ram Setu..In fact there will be a series of doors so that the sea level rises gradually ..the ships will easily pass over the Setu, then in a reverse arrangement, again the level of sea water will be reduced gradually with another series of inter-locking doors and the ship will finally come out on the other side.
Such an arrangement will keep the Ram Setu intact, make all the parties happy and also save a lot of time and money!!
5. The problem of global warming is plaguing the world. However, our able scientists will come out with a chlorophyll paste and lotion that can manufacture food from sunlight, just like the plants do!!
We would just need to apply the paste or lotion on our bodies, and lo! Our body will start manufacturing food like the plants! No need to cut down trees. If you feel hungry, just take a stroll in the sun. On cloudy days, we can fall back on the dear old plants.. but that’s all. World food problem would also be solved..
No food crisis, no greenhouse effect, no global warming..just think..how green and beautiful our earth would be!!
6. Indian scientists are going to develop a climate control system. The system would have a wide range so that only a few systems could control the climate of the entire country.
If the system is kept floating in the atmosphere, it could be used to control the clouds, rains, strong winds. The sensors would sense the changes in the atmosphere and take corrective action.
Say, if the clouds are less and rain is needed, more clouds from outside will be attracted. If they are excessive, some clouds will be dispatched to other areas where they are less.
This system could be used in the sea to sense and avert Tsunamis, cyclones and hurricanes. It could also be used in the bowels of the earth to sense and avert earthquakes.
The system would work on the Law of conservation of energy, that energy is neither created nor destroyed. Here, it will merely be transferred from one place to another. Thus the equilibrium in nature would also be maintained. No fear of Nature’s wrath!!
7. Coming to Bollywood, I foresee that Salman Khan, Abhishek Bachhan and Aishwarya are going to work together in a movie. During the shooting and making of the film, they will develop such a good rapport and become so good friends, that Ashwarya will start tying “Rakhee” to Salman from the coming Rakshabandhan day in 2009!!
And then some producer will come out with a film “Bhai behen ka pyar”. Starring Salman & Aishwarya.. a family drama of a movie with loads of emotions.. it will be such a hit that it will get nominated for and win the Oscars in the best foreign film category!!
8. In cricket, The fab 3 Ganguly, Dravid and Kumble (Not fab 4..Sachin is still playing well yaar) would no longer be with the official Indian team. However, they will still very much have the urge to play international cricket and grab endorsements (advertisements). Together, all the three will decide to migrate to Zimbabwe. The Zimbabwe cricket board will naturally pounce upon this opportunity and select them for their national cricket team.
Here, getting a psychological boost, they will begin to perform so well, that the Zimbabwe team will defeat even strong teams like Australia, South Africa, West Indies & Sri Lanka. They will however be no match for our lions, Dhoni & co.
9. The popular social networking site ibibo is going to come out with more contests and prizes..it’s going to be so popular that it will get huge advertisers and sponsors…It will be literally rolling in popularity and cash. Recession? Who kya hota hai? It won’t be applicable here at all.
The management will start doling out money for blogs, sawaals, opinions, sending smses, playing games, making friends, sending blurbs and mails..you name it… ibibo members will literally be minting money and their strength will begin to increase so rapidly, that Orkut, facebook, Hi5 etc. will have a fear of losing business and going bankrupt.
10. And yes, for my part, I am going to win that rocking new apple ipod and many more such prizes and gifts from ibibo in the coming year. So many, that ibibo is finally going to crown me the undisputed “Queen of ibibo”.
I will become so popular that ibibo management will offer me a permanent seat on their board and then I’ll be having a say in all their decisions!! So my friends, if you want to get anything done in ibibo, you can bindaas come to me!! All your queries will be answered, all your problems will be solved, pronto!!
(PS: This is an entry for the ibibo contest)
