LIVING VS EXISTENCE

May 15th, 2008 | by aleen dyan

So, my dear friends……in a general way, I set life off from existence. I would also like to add few more things which I find in contradistinction to "living".

 

I found that I exist when I am doing drudgery of any kind- dressing for my office, riding on the streets of Hydeabad in a car,or sometimes even buying things.

I exist when attending the average social function- a tea, or even a dinner, listening to dull people people talk, discussing sarees and gold and some times bitching behid the back.

 

Yet, very recently I found another of (my) state of existence…eating, drinking and sleeping  when one is already replete, when one’s senses are dull….just the way when I had been ill.

 

I found that old monotonous things-  too fimiliar streets, houses, rooms,furniture, clothes can also drive one to the existence level.  Ofcourse sheer ugliness, such as one sees in the city slums, depress me intensely.

 

And at last, I retreat from life when I become angry. I exist through rows and misunderstandings and in the blind alleys of "getting even"….(this dear friends I observe in every situation …that Iam into.

 

Anyway, it must be admitted of course that "living" is often a mental state quite independent of physical environment or occupation.

 

One may feel…..in springtime for instance - suddenly alive in old, monotonous surroundings.  Then even dressing and dishwashing become eventful and one might even sing loudly. But these out bursts are on the whole abnormal.

 

By and large there seems to be a definite cause for living and a definite cause for existing. So it is with me at any rate, I believe that I could deliberately "live" twice as much - in hours - as I do now, if only I would come come out from under the chains of necessity - largely economic - which bind me.

 

I have indeed made some estimates of the actual time I have spent above and the below the "existence" line. For instance, my notes show that in one week, of the 168 contained therein, I only "lived" about 40 of them or represented 25  percent of the time. This allowed for some creative work, a sunday get together party, and a good walk, some genuine hunger, some healty sleep, and stimulating reading, part of a moving picture, and also eight hours of interesting discussion with friends.

 

It may be that the states of being which release life in me release it in most human beings.  Generally speaking one’s salvation is bound closely with that  of all manking - the ratio of living, of growing with that of the mass of one’s fellow- men……this truth I found here on this IBIBO.

 

     THE END

 

Please await my next post …..BUNNY THE RABBIT.