The search that was still on

Continued from my previous post…….

In order to quench my thirst, I thought of drinking a big glass of water. But instead of doing that…with my curiosity reaching at the peak of the mountain, I thought of talking to her directly before I could proceed for my training. Some how I got hold of her residence telephone number and called her. The phone rang and enquired her father’s name to make sure that it was her residence only. After assuring myself, I went blank…didn’t know exactly what to say, how to ask and whom to talk. I kept the phone down with out saying any thing. I assured myself that, Yeah I could surely recognize her voice (naturally it should be a girly sweet voice but should not be a matured one).

With that notion in my mind, I tried to call her residence a couple of times, but every time I heard the girl’s tone at the other side, I used to kept the receiver down without saying any thing. I thought that since she is from a very cultured and decent family she may not like talking to me or her family may not like this act of mine, before our marriage. But what I did not know was that I was too immature and childish to build up such a notion about her.

The next day I thought of talking to her again, if not meet in person. The time for me was running out, since I have to leave after a couple of days and before leaving I have to say a final yes or no for my marriage with her. But the same feeling continued to jolt me. When I made the third call to her residence, it came, as a big surprise to me. A soft voice from the other side of the phone requested me not to keep the receiver down. She called me by my nick name and wanted to confirm whether it was me on the phone.

I was speechless for a couple of minute. I did not disconnect the phone. I just said yeah..it’s me. I was eager to know about every thing. I wanted to know her nick name, how she was able to know that it was me on the phone, how she feels about our marriage, what was her view, whether she was happy or not, whether it was a forcible marriage or not…..blab…blab…blab…blab…. But but but…she did not answer any thing to me. She kept silent. But I could hear the sound of smile from the other side.

When she realized my impatience, she just told me one thing, that though I did not see her, yet she was able to see me every day while I used to go for morning jug in the near by park. That was her time to go for her computer classes early in the morning. With that first meet she was able to recognize my face. When I came to know about this… ofcourse I did not wish to ask her any thing except thanking her for her innocence in answering all my doubts.

Of course after that phone call, I never thought of meeting her in person, yet I was able to gather some information about her. I obliged the decision of my parents they took for my marriage. Before I left, I gave my acceptance. The sparkle I had seen in their eyes is still visible even after 8 years. Their happiness and joy knew no bounds. They were so happy on me that immediately they called up my uncle to fix a date with the girl’s parents so as they could reach at the final decision about our marriage. Though we both became together yet it was not easy and full of twists…man proposes..god disposes..

To be continued……

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For the sake of my beloved

If you wish you can read my post: That Sweet Dreamy Feelings, by following this link: http://blogs.ibibo.com/fishmarket/That-Sweet-Dreamy-Feelings.html

This post is in continuation to my previous post………………..

It came, as a big surprise to me. When I heard the decision of my parents about my marriage plans and asked by my father to get married with the girl of their choice. I was taken aback. But, not exactly unhappy with their decision. Perhaps I was totally different. Though I was breeding some thing within me, yet the time was not ripe to hatch. I was very mischievous and as usually a spoilt brat of rich parents. Though I have started earning at that age after getting in to civil services, yet I used to demand money from them. Perhaps, I was a bit lavish with my living style.

There were many, who felt pity on my plight. It is very similar to the way, many of my dear friends here in IBIBO felt, after reading my previous post. In contrast, I was a bit disturbed, not because they asked me to get married to the girl of their choice, but because of the fact that I was not allowed enjoying my freedom for more years. I always respected the decision of my parents. Some might feel that my dreams were crushed by them or they have imposed their decision on me.

But in reality I never ever felt like that, except the fact that I wanted to enjoy my life without getting married at an early age.

I can still see the things that took place about eight years back. I was very patient in listening to my parents. I tried to visualize the things through their vision. It was their wish to see me happy and I was having total faith on my parents. Being a son, I always respected their decision, though at times I used to differ.

I feel proud that what ever the parents thought about me and my marriage plans, they never went wrong. The parents can never go wrong; it is only the perception of us that changes with changing time. Perhaps, the today’s generation might differ with my perception. When I am talking about today’s generation, it is about those who are in the 21^st century.

Atlast, it was an arranged marriage, which had it’s own twist of fun and frolic. After I accepted the decision of my parents, I felt like a free bird. A lot of visualization came to my mind about her looks, education, mentality, attitude, family values, dreams & aspirations, etc.

I just could not control my eagerness to know about her. It was raining very heavily that day, when I asked Mom, “Mama do you have any photograph of her? How she looks like?” She did not say any thing except throwing a warm smile. I also felt a bit awaked in asking her more. Unfortunately my younger sis is around 10 years younger than me and the younger brother is 17 years smaller than me. So I did not have that liberty to utilize them for knowing about her.

Just a week was left for my departure, for my training. I was getting curious to know about her and meet her at least once, before the things getting finalized…………………

N.B: Many of my friends here in IBIBO felt differently after reading my previous post. Some notions I need to clarify, Parents are always there for the betterment of the child, for whom they throw their lives in to the dark. It is not easy to bring up a child. Perhaps some will realize only after they become parents themselves. I love, respect and adore the decision of my parents and shall continue to do so, at any cost (even at the cost of my ………….) I know what they are for me and what I am for them.

To be continued………..

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Prelude to that Sweet Dreamy Feeling

If you wish you can read my post: That Sweet Dreamy Feelings, by following this link:

http://blogs.ibibo.com/fishmarket/That-Sweet-Dreamy-Feelings.html   

I was just going through the ravines without bothering too much for the happenings around me. It could have distracted my vision. They tried a lot to dislodge me from my aim, but I was hell bent on achieving my target. No, there was no visible sign of that. I was disillusioned. Put my thinking cap to find out the way. But at last I gave up to their longing demand.

Oh….God…how can you be so cruel to me? Did I do any thing wrong? Did I commit any mistake in my life? Then, why this punishment to me? I was a free bird, flying across the sky by spreading my tiny yet strong wings. Spreading the message of love. Don’t know why they were so adamant in tying me down and put in a cage. At last I gave up to their demand.

I heard the voice of my father, shouting at me. Who is going to marry you? You monkey! Do you think that you are the most handsome guy among all? Look, how sweet and beautiful she is? Very well educated and from a cultured family. What more do you want? Just the perfect match for you. Don’t feel proud of your achievement. I have given my word for her to them. You have to obey my orders.

Even, being grown up and joined the civil service, yet the most faithful and obedient son, I acceded to the demand of my parents, leaving behind all my affairs and friendships. Deserted them all, instead of clinging to those sweet memorable days when we were together.

Still I can hear those voices, even after their marriage ( but not after my marriage). I can still visualize about Vineeta, who unfortunately took divorce from her husband even after getting married for two years. I can still see the red angry face of Rashmi, who is now a mother of two children. I can still feel the warmth in the voice of Anjali Gujaral.. the most enviest girl in our group. I can still think about my last meeting with Milu in the University Campus.

But…but…but….after that visit to her place, which was kept secret by both the Boy and the girl’s parents, some thing else happened. Though she was able to know about her prince charming (which of course I was not!), yet I was in complete dark, till the date the decision of my parents was conveyed to me.

To be continued………..

N.B: This is just an eye opener and a small effort to make some body realize and know a bit about the reality of an Arranged Marriage, the relationship between a grown up son having success in his independent career and the parents. The ensuing love, respect and uncanny faith between the Father and the Son. Though there was love between the boy and the girl after their marriage, yet both of them sacrificed their wish for their beloved parents. This post, perhaps carries a lot of importance in today’s society (the incident which is being described here is some what only 8 years old, so it is very much within our present generation), for those who believe in Simplicity and Indianity. 

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The Mediator

You will not find a better match for your daughter. He is employed in a senior position and highly paid. He is a green card holder, settled in New Jersey, USA. He is very fair, tall and handsome, even more beautiful than your daughter..blab…blab…blab…blabb. He goes on blabbering a lot of things about the would be groom, his family back ground and social standing, as if he is a family member. On listening this, the bride family’s joy knew no bounds. They readily agree with the proposal of getting their beloved daughter married to that boy, even without knowing much. 

It has become a growing trend in modern day India. With the slightest hint that the groom is working in some foreign countries, parents don’t even think twice before getting their daughter married to an unknown boy. They are so bestowed with the narration of the Mediator that they don’t bother to check about the Boy and his family background. This has resulted in the death of many girls, who were married to grooms settled abroad. 

This craze has snatched the joy and happiness from the clutch of many families. In majority cases, either the girl end up in committing suicide due to physical torture and harassment for dowry or left behind by their so called foreign settled husbands. Many innocent lives have fallen pray to such a lure.  

The recent case of death of an innocent girl from Mumbai at Siera-lone is the testimony to this. Another case of torture of an Indian girl after the untimely demise of her husband at Karachi, is another case. Though, there are uncountable numbers of cases existing, yet the craze for getting a foreign settled groom for their lovely daughter does not seem to diminish with the parents. 

It is not only the fault of the Mediator or the blind eye of loving and caring parents, who seems to be much engrossed in their thought of getting a wealthy and affluent son-in-law, but also the fault of all our modern day, highly educated Indian girls. With the money minded mentality creeping up in to their mind every passing day, their craze for getting such a boy does not seem to lie down. The more they are getting educated, the more their desire grows. This has made them completely bind in their endeavour. 

What is the use of such arranged marriages? When we talk about the Indian tradition, Indian society, virginity of girls, etc. why cann’t we apply those facts in our own lives, for our own daughter, own sister, own family members? Why we seem to forget, about all those bad effects?  

Perhaps the answer lies within us. It is better to accept a Love marriage instead of opposing the same. In the name of Indian tradition for arranged marriage, we are committing more heinous crimes than that by the Mediator. Unfortunately, it has become very painful and disturbing to experience such situations.  

Surprisingly the marriage scenario in India, has more become like a Sabzi Mandi (vegetable market). Though these cases were solitary and confined mainly to states like Punjab, Haryana, etc. But now, this fire has spread all over India. With a little bit of self restraint, perhaps we all can make a little contribution. May be, we all can save the lives of our beloved daughter, sister, friend and all those girls with a little bit of extra effort and proper counseling. The side effects and aftermaths could be explained to them, who are dreaming of doing some thing like that. The time is ripe to raise the curtain.

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Kanta Bai Ki Kahani

She shouted loudly….”Kanta! what are you doing? Just fifteen days back I got all those stuffs for you but how can you finish them before time. My previous maid was not like that, she used to utilize the floor cleaner bottle for more than two months, but how can you finish it within 15 days. Blab…blab…blab….blabbbb…… 

In between she did not leave her house work either. Doing every thing in a robotic way. A pettier site indeed. “This Kanta seems to spoil every thing”. She exhaled.  

I was sitting in the balcony, reading the morning news paper with out listening much to the conversation between my better half and Kanta. But she was hell bent on breaking my concentration.

She came to me with second cup of morning coffee and keep (rather banged it) it on the centre table.  She was glowing red with all those anger on her face.“Are you listening to me or not?”  

Did you say any thing? I asked her. This made her angry.

Papa…don’t listen to Mama…please listen what I am saying…I want a new waist ring…Jo aise aise kar ke aapne kamar ke charo taraf ghumta hai…jab aap apne kamar ko zor se ghumate hain…I can play with that, Ab mein thodisi badi ho gayee hoon…please get it for me today. This made her angrier. 

Saab…nichhe sayad gaadi aa gaye…driver horn baja raha hai..Kanta Bai interfered.  

I felt very frustrated. What to do? Whom to listen? What to say and what not to say? I am yet to finish my daily chorus. I was so engrossed with those things that I have forgotten to complete my daily routine and get ready for office in time. 

Without saying any thing to any body, I just gulped down the cold coffee and headed for the Bath room. I was literally running while finishing my daily work. None was enjoying my move neither I. When I sat at the dining table and asked for my morning launch, my better half brought some thing instead of Kanta Bai. Her face was a thing to see, as if dark cloud has gathered over a beautiful sky and was about to burst in to torrential rain. The pink cheeks had gone oven red 

At that moment I could not control my laugh. I started laughing loudly. This made all of them very unhappy. I did not want to spoil any body’s mood nor offend any body, so thought about remaining silent. Perhaps the time was not with me. I was not able to respect the value of time in such a crunch situation. It made me helpless. But did any one of us ever think about the pain, agony, frustration, suffering, etc. they are absolving within them. They manage their time perfectly, which could be bliss or curse for some. They ran from pillar to post to finish the daily routine. 

May be one day, we must sit calmly and think about the lessons that we need to take from them about the basic Time management techniques. The tiniest details, the corporate czars even could not have dreamt of!!

Posted in My Life | 32 Comments

Who will bell the CAT

A lot of noise was coming from the corridor outside my chamber. It was like, a lot of people shouting at each other. Seems like, they were arguing over some very important issue. As time passed, the sound became louder and louder. When I felt like losing my patience, I came out to see what was happening there. What I saw was quite interesting. 

There was a gathering of around five seven people, shouting at each other over some issue. Surprisingly a couple of my seniors were also there. I could not believe to my eyes, how such senior officials can indulge in such activity. When they saw me, every body became silent. Some started smiling sheepishly, as if they were caught red handed. 

I did not say any thing except asking my seniors to join me for a cup of coffee in my room. They obliged and entered in to my room. I have ordered for three cups of coffee with some snacks. After they make themselves comfortable, I wanted to know the reason behind such an argument with lower staffs, that too in the open corridor. 

What ever they said has really surprised me. I felt sorry after discussing with them, was the fact that the juniors and lower staffs did not have the basic sense to respect their seniors and were not ready to obey the orders. It was like a free battlefield for every body, where all has the liberty in showing one up man ship than other. There was lack of discipline among some staffs. There was lack of respect for the seniors. 

These did not go down well with me. I was very unhappy and even asked my seniors, that I should have been called. More over, being senior persons, it was also not decent to argue with lower staffs openly, instead of sorting out the differences within four walls. But when I came to know that the root cause for such an episode was because of me, I could not believe. 

I was told that since, I am very strict about punctuality and discipline in office (being in govt. office these words don’t have literally any meaning for the Sarkari Babus), the staffs have started feeling suffocated with so many restrictions. They cann’t leave their seat easily in the pursuit of personal gain by leaving the people to suffer. Because they never care for others and have the penchant to make people wait for them, for hours together. 

So that was the cause and my seniors were defending my action. I felt very sorry for such an episode and called a few staff members to my room. I just asked them that if they are legitimate in their pursuit, why they fear in directly talking to me. If they are righteous enough to come to office late or leave the office early or remain absent during office hours, with some valid and just reason, what is the problem in letting me know. There was absolutely no answer from any of them. 

But, I could not recall, whether it is a government organization or a private organization, do we ever been taught, not to show respect to our seniors, to misbehave with our colleagues, to practices indiscipline and callousness in the office. These are some of the personal attributes that one needs to follow religiously, not only for the betterment of the organization but also for self development and growth. I could not understand, when people will learn to understand these things and became really educated. If we want to call ourselves as socialized, educated and high society animals, then certainly we must learn and possess these attributes.

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The Fury of Monsson

It was raining and raining and raining. There was water every where. With that first monsoon rain, my heart was beating. The sound can be heard up to miles. Perhaps, the sound was travelling more faster than the light. My thinking power was diminishing with every drop of rain. The only thing which i could see, was the sight of that parrot, who was sitting on that Banyan tree behind my flat getting drenched in that heavy rain. Water was moving like whirlwind……

But what was that, i could not believe to my eyes. How that person was able save this man? He not only saved him but also took his never say die attitude to the core, with a spirited effort to carry him to the nearest help centre. With that sight, i thought that nothing is impossible in this whole world…..It seems like that he was hell bent on teaching every body a lesson…who does not seem to care about their part in saving the city from flood, by dumping all the debris on the road, blocking the storm water drain, using polythene bags which is the major cause of water lugging in the cities…

I was quite amused by the sight of this. It seems like that every body was quite busy in doing their part. How I could think of legging behind them? I also decided to do my bit. I took the shortest route to drank the whole of the excess water that were flowing from the sky, so as the city could be saved from another horrible flood, which may wash away lots and lots of human lives….

Atlast mission Monsoon accomplished…perhaps…I think so…but still a lot more to do for arousing that bit of conscience among every body’s mind, those who are living in the cities within dangers of encroching flood every year!!!!!

N.B: My last post and poll on Arushi murder case, got an overwhelming response. Nice to see that more than 63% have advocated for a CBI enquiry (atlast it is the CBI which took over the mantle) and another 24% said that Police is not doing a fair job. Let us pray for her soul and stop our selves from maligning the name of a deceased kid, what ever the case may be. Let the truth prevail.

Posted in Fantasy | 20 Comments

Can u help her Arushis soul is calling

She was a beautiful bright child. She was innocent. She was having the urge to succeed. She was learning to fly in the open sky with her tiny wings spread across the blue sky. She was the heart and soul of her parents. Being the only child, she was pampered and sobered.  But, who knows her personally, perhaps not many. It is only because of her untimely death, the whole world came to know about her. What, she could not have achieved at a very tender age, when she was alive, that has now been achieved after her death. No body knows, whether she could have ever been able to become so popular, if she would have been alive. 

Perhaps, we all now know about this young girl ARUSHI, from Noida, India and her untimely death. She was brutally murdered, rather butchered in her own house about fifteen days ago. When the case came in to lime light, almost every media, both print and electronics have started giving the details. Many of them tend to built different stories about her murder on their own, by their so called Criminal Experts, without bothering about the real incident, which of course no body knows till date. 

All the TV News Channels and News papers across the country flashed different stories about her death.  No body really bothered to know about the truth. All of them pointed an accusing finger towards their domestic help. But unfortunately, when fanatic search was conducted it was found that their domestic was also murdered and his dead body was found on the terrace of the house. There was callousness on the part of every body. There was premature imagination of events.

There was figmentation of fertile human brain with out bothering to know about the real truth of her murder. It’s a shame on the part of every body, from Police to Media to ordinary people. Then, every body pursued a new theory, that her Loving father had actually killed her, because Arushi came to know about his illicit relationship with his female colleague. And also her father saw her in an objectionable but not compromising position with the domestic help in the night of her murder. This is inspite of the fact that the domestic help was an elderly man taking every care of Arushi, as his own daughter, since most of the time both her parents were working and out of their house.

Again it’s a shame on every body’s part to pursue this theory and implicate the innocent and loving father of such a loving little girl. Though there is no evidence to substantiate this new theory, yet the verdict has been out. And who gave the verdict; it is the Media in connivance with the inefficient Police of the State. It was an abrupt attempt by many sadistic people to malign her innocent soul.  

If any of you are having the soul and deep sense of emotion within you, just feel for a moment, how the father would have been feeling, whose little princess was murdered. How he would have been spending his time in police custody, that are known to be very famous for putting third degree torture methods, for making him to accept the lie, instead of investigating the truth to know about the murder of Arushi and her domestic help. You just think about the plight of her mother, whose daughter has been dead, husband has been falsely framed, scandalized, implicated and more over her late daughter’s character has now been questioned. Perhaps Arushi’s soul is calling from some where in the heaven, deeply anguished over the events taking place in her absence, shivering in pain after seeing the plight of her parents, who were once her world.  

At this hour of need, we all should refrain from making any allegations with out knowing the truth. The media and the police should not hatch new stories every day. There is no need to malign the heavenly soul of Arushi.

What we all need to do is, to show some restrain, stand up and support the call of many Indians for a fair probe in to this murder by a competent agency, perhaps CBI. Let the truth only prevail. The need of the hour is to show solidarity to nab the culprit and let the truth prevail, as it happened in Nitish Kataria’s case after six long years.

  N>B : You can vote your preference in this poll and all of us shall pledge to spread out some message to all for conducting a fair enquiry for this case.

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Spring Season

The Humming Bird was singing a very beautiful song. When the crow heard it, he also thought of singing a song, but when he opened his voice, all the birds sitting on the branches of that olive tree has flown away. The crow felt very hurt, how can it be possible that the humming bird can only sing such melodious tunes during the spring season, why can not he sang? He started thinking deeply, but still could not understand. He felt very sad without getting the answer. He was very much worried, and then he felt that only practice can make him perfect. Since he never sang a song ever, perhaps a little bit of practice can make him a better singer. 

The next day before the sunrise, the crow wanted to sing again. Since it was very dark and every body was asleep, he thought that he can practice so that no one can hear him. With a little bit of practice every day, he can surely succeed. He recall the song, the little children were singing in the school, like…Jab Man Mein Hai Biswas..Pura Hai Biswas…Hum Honge Kamyaab…ek din. 

Having faith in his ability, he started singing again. As soon as he opened his mouth, the Cocks staying nearby had also started shouting Kuukoodu…Kuuuuuu. With those sounds, every body was disturbed and got up from their sleep but found that still it is night; there is no sign of any sun rise. Every body was angry on the crow and started shouting at him. The crow felt very sad again, for his failure. 

Again the next day morning, when the sun was about to rise, as usually the crow started shouting Ka..ka…ka…ka… symbolizing the arrival of a new day. Every body has left their bed and get up. They were very happy on the crow that he has done his duty perfectly and helped them to leave their bed in time. But for the crow, he could not understand why it is so? In the night when he practices the song, all of them were very angry, but in the morning when he was simply shouting they are praising him.   

At last he decided to talk to the Fox to find out the reason behind this. He explained his problem to him. The Fox advised him that it is better to leave the job to those, for which they are best suited. It is impossible to try to get in to others shoes. The god has created different creatures in this world and assigned different tasks for them. No body else can do it perfectly. 

In our society, unfortunately the people have a tendency to encroach upon the territory of others without realizing the fact that they are not well equipped to do that task. It has become more of a habit by the people to poke their nose in others matter. Whether, it is an organization, institution or the society at large, this fashion still continues. Perhaps a little bit of self restrain can be helpful for all of us, in realizing our potential without getting ourselves diverted from our path and in the process creating hardness for others. The god has created a well defined territory for every human being which they need to adhere. Unnecessary and uncalled for interference can result in a crumbling society.  

For all those people, who tend to believe that there is nothing impossible in this world or the word impossible does not exist in their dictionary, perhaps it is a wrong notion. Unless they learn a lesson for their adventure, they can not learn it.

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Human Relationship

Human relationship…a very complex thing…which is yet to be deciphered. Can not be easily described in words. People tend to interpret differently in their own way. It is more of a matrix than an algebra which can be solved through a formula. Human beings are the most unpredictable mammal in this earth without having a brain. 

Their appearance, activity, behavior, attitude, temperament, vision and visionary, past and present and future, food, eating habits, culture, and every thing are highly unpredictable. Though the only common factor could be the evolution of human being as a socialized mammal in this earth whose existence is universal irrespective of longitude and latitude. 

When we talk about relationship among human beings, it is not any body’s cup of tea. Though scholars, saints, preachers, writers, panelists and spiritual leaders tend to talk a lot about human relationships, yet the basic question still lies whether human relationship is predictable. As a human being when I look back to the last 37 years, I found myself surrounded by many things, many emotions, many relationships, many roles and……. This list is endless. 

What, Baba Ramdev says may not be true for every body…what Asharam bapu preaches may not be applicable to all…what Osho said may not be the same for all….what Sydnhem decipher about human relationships may not bear any similarity…… But, the only conclusion at the end of all this discussion could be, that the human relationship is the most complex of all the relationships and Birth & Death are the ultimate truth. 

As a human being, well educated, well groomed, well civilized, having known my responsibility and duty towards my family, near and dear ones and the society at large, I can see myself through the coming years. But while talking about the relationships that I need to maintain and nurture through my life..there is nothing concrete. 

When we all knows and realizes this hard truth, what makes the sense in pondering over the same? Why we all talk and discuss about those broken relationships which other wise could have been avoided? Be it in the form of a story or fiction we all discuss at some point of time, about the existing human relationship in this society.  

When I said that human beings are mammals without brain, I mean it. No need to put pressure on your brain in thinking and analyzing such issues which will give nothing but pain. Relationships are not binding but only means to lead a meaningful life. The more we indulge in brainy discussion, the more the pain will become. Perhaps as an individual, we all need to rethink about the essence of our existence in this earth. The very purpose of living within a civilized society. The different ways of looking at every aspects of our life.

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