DEAR FRIEND SURYA

No, This Surya will never set,

So fresh & lively the rays are,

The lines you wrote are forever,

Never to be forgotten by any of your friends,

Tears are blurring my eyes,

Why should I write on you,

When you are not there to read?

Once you asked me to write on you,

a few words in humour u told,

SORRY Surya, SORRY, I failed,

I kept it for another day, & the day never came…

But I never imagined u’ll leave us so, even without a hint…..

& I’ve no words to write on u, now….

This is the last comment SURYA wrote as a comment on my post…as if he knew that i would cry when he leave without a word….

By Surya Pratim on Oct 30, 2008 | Reply | Edit

When you cry sof tly/
you look very lovely,/
all the pains and sorrow/
melts out very nicely,/
The mirror of silent mind/
is the language of cry ,/
feel you r holy love/
through you r silent cry !….Sun!

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Shift

Oh, God, Another shift? Another transfer?
Why did you give me the life of a vagabond?
This was the most unexpected transfer. With only one more year for retirement, who wanted a transfer now? Shifting, shifting is all that I did in the last 30 years. Once we get familiar with the place, language & surroundings, climate & people, a transfer order is sure to come….and I find it difficult to say goodbyes…

15 shifting in 30 years!! It was never easy! Hectic days of shifting…Ofcourse there were many good aspects too…Meeting all kinds of people, making a great number of friends, learning almost all languages of India, getting knowledge of various culture & cusine, attending functions of all different religions, all these made my life colourful.

I get attached to people & places very quickly, & it becomes very difficult to part. Whenever I leave a place, I see many eyes wet…Did they all love me???ofcourse, I know they did, & I too have many loving memories of all the people who helped & cared me & my family.

In last November we came to this place.But this is the only place to which I got no attachments, no friends…I seldom went out…All because of Ibibo…All my free time I spent with my computer, Ibibo & my dear friends…So I’m leaving this place without any tears, or Goodbyes…I’m taking you all, the whole Ibibo family, to my own house in Cochin…So in everyway this shift is a Happy one…….

But still my heart is heavy, an unknown sorrow is bothering me…What is it, I can’t make out. I feel I’m leaving behind something very valuable in life, something precious….What can that be???Do we get attached to the four walls of a room, a familiar surrounding, may be we do…Parting hurts, it’s painful….

But I don’t intend to leave behind any of the sweet , memories..I’ve already packed all the lovely ones….As I reach my home I’ll let them loose…Let them spread in my home with all fragrance, & make my home, A “Home Sweet Home”.

Posted in My Life | 8 Comments

THE LABOR ROOM

The super specialty hospital where my son wants his child to be born looked like a 5 star hotel to me. He was all praise for the sparkling marble floor,the centralized air conditioning which cooled even the bathrooms, the paintings which adorned the walls, the expensive curtains, all the posh furniture & the over-courteous staff. Will any of these ultra modern facilities lessen the struggle of child birth his wife will have to undergo, I wondered.

Thank God, my son has not seen the place where he was born. My father was very particular that his daughters had their child births in the Medical College Hospital where experienced & qualified doctors were available, in case of any unexpected emergency. The hygiene or the glamour of the place was not considered so important.

All these things took me back on the memory lane to our ancestral home, the large house where we lived as a joint family. We had a labor room in the house, where three generations of people were born. I too was born in that room.

The house had walls made of wood, & cemented floors, & tiled roofs. There were open verandas all around, but the rooms were dark with very less ventilation. This room which was used as a labor room, was at the corner of the woman’s section of the building. We had to climb 3 steps to reach the room. That room had no windows or ventilation. The room was usually cleaned & disinfected by sprinkling of cow dung before every child birth. A Christian midwife, Eliamma, would be in charge of everything. Grandma would wait at the door, praying, & our servant Paru would run around bringing boiled water, clean clothes etc.

The darkness inside kept us children away from the room. We were afraid,mostly because of the sound which haunted us, the suppressed painful cry of one of our aunties, cousins or even our mother. But we would forget it when the little sister or brother was brought out. The mother & the child would remain in the room for 10 days. Then the cleaning & disinfecting by sprinkling cow dung was ceremoniously done around the house. Now i can’t make out whether the place was unhygienic or not. Not a single death happened in the room. Very rarely an Ayurvedic doctor would be brought in. But no Caesarean was done in those days.

Now things have changed…The growth of the child is seen through scanning, the diet, exercise are followed strictly, still normal deliveries are very rare these days…. Changes are inevitable, but we can only hope that all children will be born healthy, & get some fresh air to breathe, clean water to drink, & unpolluted values which make them high thinkers & grow into good human beings.

Posted in My Life | 21 Comments

Tears

Tears

Where do all these tears hide?
Tears of pain & hurt?
They come without warning
This pain is hard to heal
Tears, they cleanse built-up emotions,
We know not, why we cry
But tears, they flow non-stop
Release of emotional tension
Caused in a weak, vulnerable heart
We look strong, but what caused
These tears to flow??
Sometimes gives way within
And lets the doors open
Some emotions seated deep within
Drive us in unforeseen ways
Often good, at times bad,
Never too simple but
Always deeply human

Posted in My Life | 22 Comments

My life in IBIBO

All three men discuss serious things & I am always left out when the subjects are technology, sports or current affairs. I get bored listening to such things. So every holiday when the three wise men discuss, shout & argue, they expect me to feed them with hot snacks, the only thing I am good at, cooking.

So on such a day of the year,2000, A Compaq Presario was planted in the boys room. They would not let me see what they saw on the screen. But I got a fascination for the computer, & begged them to teach me to use it. The younger one Arun felt it better to please mom. And he made an email address for me & taught how to send a mail to my nephew in USA. But I never got a chance to spend any time on the computer.

Many years passed, eventful yrs of life, My ailing parents passed away, both the boys completed studies & got employed far from home. Husband was always busy in his job….With so much free time, I felt a vacuum in my life..

It was then that I decided to try the internet. And, one day I discovered Ibibo. The money offered attracted me ..Did not know anything about the cyber world, technology or even typing. I never earned any money in life. Children warned, ‘Ma, never reveal ur identity anywhere on the net. so I signed in as Tingtong in Ibibo, on January 10th 2007.

My blogs got no comments in the beginning, then v manohar, & inktank kindly visited, &; also an Amit & Hiren shah….Every day new members joined & I watched them writing. Some were seen copy pasting forwarded mails, so i too followed. Actually most of us didn’t know what was blogging. Then I left writing for a few months, as my son’s marriage was fixed.

In June when I came back to Ibibo many new avtars I noticed. I wrote but never got more than 10 visitors, & all just inviting to visit their post & give 5 stars….I got not even a single real friend in all those months. But from August I noticed a group forming …a group of friends who actually read what others wrote & gave good comments.

In November I posted a real story, my son Arun’s first love affair. I got 38 admirers who saw some humour in my words…Thus started my happy days in Ibibo….Some good friends I got who inspired me in writing….Arunava & Charlie were my first friends. Arunava was always there among us.He was there where humour was. We teased & wrote about him. Charlie’s post on ‘tingtong’ & Arunava’s hiccups made me popular….There started my new life of excitement & fun, & friendships which I value most…

There came Arnie, Joey, Cindy, Shirley, wiseone, Writer, Vidya, Lalli, idle, Sneha, Suparna & we all wrote on the imaginary Ibibo colony where we lived….We shared so much fun & laughter, I can still visualize the now deserted colony…Joey’s selecting the chics and dudes, made us all get more closer…I felt like Alice, in wonderland..even forgot my age when with all those friends..age or gender never mattered……..I never knew such a strong bond could break…& they all left one by one…may be the charm was lost….

Now Ibibo itself have a new look, with very good writers & u r all my friends…i read ur posts but keep away from commenting on things I don’t understand.

Someone who reads my blogs, wrote in a Malayalam weekly, last week, about a woman’s transformation from “kitchen to blog land”…A channel wants to have a talk show on blogging….but i’m too shy to face the camera or media, so that may not happen….i ve yet to learn a lot….Learning reminded me this…..

When I had some problem in logging in, Arunava invited me in g-chat, to help me…hoho..lol…after a few months he disappeared, as every time he signed in, i thought it was to chat with me…..u can imagine the rest of the story…how ignorance can put u into trouble….

Then it was Charlie who became a victim of my emotions & tantrums, & he too ran away with his camera…hope he’ll come back with some of his flash fictions…just a hope….
Now it’s My creations…I think Rambabu lost the rest of his hair, & forgot to smile, with all the sawaals put to him….& my only aim is to reach a rank above him…..let’s see how long he answers my questions in sawaal….
This is my life in short, in ibibo ….I’m enjoying my life here.

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Dark thoughts

Old age and illness brings on an obsession with dark thoughts…..Even a mild viral fever makes us feel weak, dull, disappointed, old & useless…..

With everyone around, we feel lonely……as if we have no aim in life….

Start missing people who were once close but left without any reason….leaving us to wonder how unimportant & worthless we are….

Weakness of the body infects the mind…or is it the other way round?� A phone call or the door bell at the wrong time frightens….

The phone rang at 2 in the morning…Picked up the phone but heard no sound at the other end…Expected another ring, lost sleep in all negative thoughts..Who could be that?? Was it a wrong number??� Waiting for the sun to rise, old memories came to mind.

Some 4 years back, I had to leave my father with my son Arun for a few days. Father was 83, but healthy, & didn’t need any help. Arun would come home late, & would go upstairs to sleep. Like most of the young boys, he too sleeps late & gets up late…

That day around 6;30, the telephone started ringing continuously until Arun got up & went to the next room to answer….He might have shouted Hello, but got no reply. Then while returning to bed, he heard a faint sound calling him….He ran downstairs to find his grandpa on the floor. Father fell down in the bathroom & crawled to the next room, & was lying there since some time. He was hospitalized in time, he had a stroke……we could save him then though he left after 2 years….If not for that phone call, Arun would in no way wake up till 9 in the morning….And who was it on the phone that day?????

But now my worry is who was on the phone today???? <img src=’

Posted in 1 | 29 Comments

What is Indian Culture ?

I wish all in Ibibo will read this & give your sincere opinion. I answered one Mr. Parminder’s qs in sawaal,[ which is given below, ], on reading the answer, he wanted to chat with me. I have copied that chat for you all to read & give your sincere opinion…Please do that…I felt very angry with this gentleman..i mean no offense…but i want to know what my friends think about this chat…so please……

Question
Why India is behind in every field of life than rest of world? Is religion is one cause of our backwardness in every field?
Asked by Parminder in Puja & Rituals at   6:47 PM on September 06, 2008

My Answer
Why do you feel India is backword? What did you mean by backward? India may not have developed in economy or technology compared to other countries. But is that development? India is the richest in Culture. The people of India give more value to human relations. The veda & upanishads teach us the secrets of life, which was written thousands of years ago while the modern technology still can’t find answers to all their doubts. Is the electronic inventions, or the scientific developments, new methods of destroying countries, people & their resources, achievements & developments?
Religions teach the spiritual growth of a person, & a country. If a small group of people fight for religion we cannot ignore what a vast community have gained through religion. There is no country as developed as India with a rich culture. We are not poor or backward…We are the richest!
Answered at 7:37 AM on September 07, 2008

The Chat
 
Parminder 07:07:25
but i like to thank you for replying my question
Parminder 07:07:57
but i am not agree with you on at all if you know about it
 
Tingtong 13:38:04
why not agree?
 
Parminder 07:09:26
what do you think about indian culture , a hindu methology
Parminder 07:09:41
it  is no way rich
Parminder 07:09:50
it is full of cheating and lust  
Tingtong 13:40:04
that may be ur opinion..but i firmly believe it is the richest….
 
Parminder 07:11:15
everything has some reasons behind , we can not believe by closing eyes
Parminder 07:12:17
if you believe with closed eyes than it is fine  
Tingtong 13:41:57
ok, i’m not ready to have a debate with u.. i’m a simple woman who believes & holds on to the values indian culture has given me
 
Parminder 07:13:50
ok no problem , you are also one of those indian which do not use their brain but follow others with blind eyes
Parminder 07:14:02
have nice time and be well  
Tingtong 13:45:51
u have no right to say such words to me, whoever u r,  how do u know that i blindly believe, what do u know about me, u r the one who cannot love ur own country, that’s
ur motherland, & go after foreign culture…is that ur culture?
 
Parminder 07:17:40
he he , i have carage to say what is right or wrong if it is foreign culture then i like it  
Tingtong 13:48:34
i too have courage to say i like my culture, don’t think u r gr8 & only what u think is right…try to learn to respect others, & their beliefs too
 
Parminder 07:21:20
i respect others so always tell them open your eyes and see what are you fellowing . try to leave what is bad in your culture . Refine it , don’t fellow it with closed mind and eyes .
Parminder 07:21:50
we indian and backward because we don’t change with time
Parminder 07:22:25
we don’t like learn new technics  
Tingtong 13:52:17
u better open ur eyes & see what our country has to offer…don’t say all indians r blind & u who follow foreign culture is right
 
Parminder 07:24:15
most of indian are blind , what our country offering to rest of world , no part of india is peaceful , india is burning
Parminder 07:24:56
we are chanting mantras for peace not working for it
Tingtong 13:54:39
people like u who cannot love ur fellow beings r burning the country
 
Tingtong 13:55:09
what do u do for the country, tell me
 
Parminder 07:26:51
i am working person and give my role of production of indian industry
Parminder 07:27:30
and it is my job  
Tingtong 13:58:11
ok, i’m no more interested in talking to a person who doesn’t love his country, & believe all except urself is blind…i ve not seen such proud people..bye
 
Parminder 07:30:30
intresting , when some one like to tell you about the truth you people colse your eyes so you donot get courage to know what is realy happening in your culture
Parminder 07:30:50
as you have no open space for new words in your nimd
Tingtong 14:00:53
oh man, how can u think u r the only one who knows what is truth,
 
Parminder 07:32:40
you may know it but have not courage to say what is right or wrong , may be your growth done like it from the begining  
Tingtong 14:03:23
hey man, who gave u the right to talk to me like that, about me, u better be in some other country, & save India..pls go…
 
Parminder 07:35:40
he he , that is why most of indian want leave india, if you know there is largest number  of indian doctor in the world but most live and  work out of india. why ?
Parminder 07:36:32
india produces largest number of educated persons but not for india why?
Parminder 07:36:56
i have logic for my words not like talking without it  
Tingtong 14:08:51
but we were talking about indian culture, it’s not because of that, people leave  india, they go there for making money, & those countries need our men with brains…indian culture has nothing to do with that…u find a single man who went out of the country as indian culture was not good, & i’ll say u r right
 
Tingtong 14:09:41
ok, i’m not interested in talking to  u
 

Posted in My Life | 16 Comments

Viswamitra & Menaka ….a legend

Devraj Indra was worried  about the rigorous Tapasya of Rajarishi Vishwamitra.

“What is his intention?  Is he aiming at my throne?  It can be so.  Then his Tapaya has to be disrupted.” Indra decided.

Indradev summoned Menaka.   Explained things to her.  .” His intention is to capture my throne.  We have to stop him.  Only your celestial beauty can move him. You are the one to do it.”

Menaka was silent.  Indra tried to give her all assurance.  “Viswamitra’s wrath may destroy the universe.   But your alluring  smile can charm him. His rage may shake the world. But your enticing gestures can be seductive.

‘His anger can bring the world upside down. But your movements can captivate him. His furious words may cut you apart. The fire in his eyes may incinerate you. But a touch from you will seduce him.”

The Apsara could do nothing but to agree.

 “But I have a request, Lord” she said.

“When I try to charm the Maharishi,  ask the wind to spread a heavenly fragrance all over the forest. The gentle wind should become a violent storm. Ask him to blow off my clothes for a moment.  At the same time ask Kamdev to shower his flowery arrows on the Rishi’s heart. “

Indra agreed.

Menaka moved in confidence……. Her dazzling splendour shining through her flimsy dress….

She entered the thick forest where Vishwamitra was in Ugra Tapasya. When she saw the Rishi, she felt sad for a moment.  She whispered,   “Mercy, Mahamuni, I’m but just an instrument.”

Soon she became conscious. She is endowed with an important task. Her charming body moved in rhythm. The fragrance & the sound of her anklets spread the seduction.

The wind blew off her clothes. She collected her clothes & looked around.  Felt the gaze of the Rishi on her. His eyes devoured her magnificent beauty.  She stooped in shame.

Kamaban was working on the Rishi. He invited Menaka. He was under the spell of Kama. Viswamitra spent the night with her & lost all his power attained through Tapasya.

When he realized that, it was too late. He had already lost his Asceticism.

An excerpt translated from Puranamanjari in sanskrit.

Picture from images, google. 

Posted in My Life | 12 Comments

MY ‘BESTEST’ FRIEND

In 1973, 35 years back I wrote some poems & short stories & sent to the magazine "FEMINA" in the hope of getting published. But none of them were published…. here is one for u all to read…..after reading this u’ll know why they were not published, & we all know ‘Femina’ is keeping its standard till now…LOL…

Where are you, my friend?

I wasn’t looking for you,

But you came into my life,

And became a part of my life,

You made me feel special,

Pretty, & Happy,

You made me see the beauty of life,

You made me laugh until I cried,

   Parting was inevitable,

   Though that was not our wish,

   But I know you will come back,

   As you can’t be away for long,

   Still I’m waiting,

   With memories, cherished,

   Of the good times spent with you!!

Where are you my friend??

picture did in photoshop. 

Posted in My Life | 25 Comments

krishna

OH! KRISHNA!!

I’m Yashoda, you are my Krishna,

You are the symbol of love,  

You are the ocean of kindness,

Unbreakable is the Love

That binds me to you…. 

 Give us your blessings, which knows no bounds….

pictue googled.. 

Posted in My Life | 9 Comments