Pregnancy and Motherhood

August 5th, 2008 | by umbrella 22

We Indians have this bad habit of publicizing

all personal issues and ‘hush hush’ all public issues! !

Indian women have come a long way from

those dark ages of oppression and suppression

and established their own rightful place in the society.

But..But

..only on their professional front.

What about their personal , emotional side….

 

The legal proceedings and the public debate

on a woman’s complicated pregnancy is really shocking.

Sex and pregnancy are personal issues.

If and when a woman doesn’t

want to have sex with her husband, there is law

to support her wish.

Because , it’s ‘her’ body so her wish is

to be obeyed by the husband.
But in pregnancy, It’s the woman who carries,

nurtures, suffers,

sometimes even give up their life to give birth to their baby.

Even the father has no say in this.

 

Even after the birth, it’s the mother’s life long job to care for it

. If the baby is a healthy one, the mother’s care lasts for 20 years.

So.. a whole lot of 20 years of her life’s prime time is spent on caring

and nurturing, and making her child a good citizen. Bringing up a

normal healthy baby is itself a hard task in these days and age.

 

What if the baby is born with congenital disease?

There r scores of such diseases. Mentally retarded children need life-long caring. Autistic

children need special coaching and training

which rob parents off their

monetary means totally. Handicapped children with blindness, twisted limbs,

missing limbs are another set of example for human hardships. There r many a children born

with leukemia, diabetes, heart diseases, and

even kidney problems.

 

Imagine a woman having such a baby in her early 20s to 30.

Imagine her plight. She is the one who has to sacrifice everything for

her child. If the father happens to be a conscientious man, he’ll share

the burden.

 

But the question is ‘WHY’

 

Why invite trouble. Yes..i’m a woman and I dare say such babies

are a huge burden. And , we don’t have any right to bring a life into

this world knowing full well in advance of it’s deformity. By bringing in,

we make that innocent life also to suffer. Do we have any right to

do that?

 

But what is happening here in our country? The whole billion is

discussing whether that lady should have her baby or better abort it

…and the most outrageous thing is our legal side also dares to order

her not to abort.


Maybe the court has plans to lend it’s womb for the said foetus!

Maybe those who talk about innocent lives and killings will lend their wombs!

 

Pregnancy, and child birth is totally, completely a woman’s personal issue.

Whether to have a baby or abort is also her own decision.

No one, even the father has the right to have a say in this issue.

 

Some doctors might say that in this advanced age of medical

technology, some congenital diseases r curable. But sadly these

promises r not fool proof. A woman can not go ahead and have a

deformed baby based on ‘May’s and ‘Maynots’!

 

Women are born mothers. They don’t need any lessons on it.

If a mother wants to abort her 23 weeks foetus or 24 weeks baby,

for god’s sake.. Let her!

 

One religious organization even offers shelter for the baby if

the mother doesn’t want it after birth.

 

What kind of irresponsible statement is this?? ! !

Highly idiotic and venomous ! !

 

Life is precious. Life is short. But not only that ..Life is also to live ..

not to suffer!

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  1. 70 Responses to “Pregnancy and Motherhood”

  2. By Sonia Sonia on Aug 5, 2008 | Reply

    Atta girl !! I couldnt agree with you more. I am also against bringing a child who is not normal, into this world. Why make him/ her suffer ?? The laws are ridiculous.If the couple has decided they do not want to keep the fetus due to a perfectly legitima

  3. By Violethue AS on Aug 5, 2008 | Reply

    Hi Umb…read ur post & i too absolutely agree with ur thoughts…& yes i too convey my wishes for friendship day though am a day late

  4. By Abhinav on Aug 5, 2008 | Reply

    Its really a sensitive and purely personal issue. The media must not poke its nose in it. I don’t know exactly about the law whether it can give its verdict in such personal case but if it has been risen publically then the honourable court must soothe th

  5. By Yohan Wolf on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    oh gr8 timing… here uve dese words n i just wrote abt a lil voice not heard… its abt abortion.

  6. By Yohan Wolf on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    y is it always wat v want… y cant v let d kid come n c d world outside.. so wat if he is physicaly challenged.. he cud b smart.. i wudnt like to say more… but ya.. if deres any such kid.. n a mother hu wudnt take d responsibility… im here.. n i wud

  7. By Iyer56 on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    its always about the plus and minus coming together,why bring emotion into play.When the plus and minus unite they bring forth a progeny thats called offspring.Both being equal where is the question of inequality.But we have been taught in different schoo

  8. By Vida Writer on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    u should read Dr.Rudran’s powerful write up on this same thing-

    http://blogs.ibibo.com/psychiatrist/someone-has-problems-in-pregnancy-LETS-ALL-TA.html?ReadComment=1#PostComment
    I was so impressed by his blog. Ur blog also shares the same anguish. Neit

  9. By Dr Rudhran on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    thank you for thinking loud and clear. we have to keep shouting like this till things change or we go mute

  10. By * G U R U on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    THIS ISSUE HYPED MORE THEN NEEDED GOVERNMENT FOUND SLEEPING WHEN THOUSANDS OF SUCH INCIDENT TAKE PLACE..JUST FOR NO REASON….BUT IN THIS CASE THEY ARE IMPLEMENTING ALL THEIR RULES AND REGULATION………I THINK THEY HAVE PLENTY MORE SCOPE TO DO IN THIS F

  11. By InkTank on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    i agree with u 200%. the cpl shudnt hv gone to the court in the first place.

  12. By Iyer56 on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    Nowhere in my article I mentioned anything about J or K or M or S or for that matter A,its always in the eyes of the beholder,to interpret as he/she feels.regards

  13. By Idle Mind on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    First of all, where has the umbrella in ur screen name gone, dear? Secondly, I strongly protest para 2. In para 2, father has no involvement or say is highly objectionable. No sane father would agree. Bringing up a child is tough, and bringing up a physic

  14. By Anonymous on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    U R RIGHT TO SOME EXTENT BUT THERE R SOME OBJECTION ALSO AS THE MOTHER IS NOT THE SOLE PROPIETOR OF THE BABY.THE FATHER HAS SOME SAY.NEXTU WROTE ABOUT THE DISSATISFIED MOTHER,WERE NO FATHER CAN HELP.NO FATHER CAN SAY THAT "OK I’LL CONCIEVE"ITS N

  15. By Umbrella on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    To Banerjee; I dont have any regration against my male counterpart..hehe. In complicated pregnancies, Mother has the sole right and father has no say at all. If the said pregnancy is in any way dangerous to the life of the carrying mother or her emotional

  16. By . Ramesh on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    First of all thank you very much for your wish and kind comment at my page. As far as this post concern, well I am bit confused on this issue and I told same at Idle sir’s post. But yes I agree with Idle sir that science has progressed a bit what we think

  17. By Idle Mind on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    I am sure I don’t have to tell u abt a father’s involvement in conceiving a baby! Also, we may be concerned abt the baby’s health, the desire (or the right) to get a healthy baby depends on multiple factors. I am sure doc’s know that very well … and it’

  18. By Idle Mind on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    I am not too sure whether someone (or anybody physically challenged) from our generation can be simply called ‘vegetable’ (lol!) but yes, our moms were strong enough to face realities and inspire (and motivate) their kids to be confident. The challenge wa

  19. By Sanjay Sharma on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    well, it’s a good issue for discussion. it’s right that the right should be given to women. infact in today’s senario, both are enough matured to take decisions. and about sex, it’s responsibility of both to take care about the feelings.but overall, you c

  20. By Anonymous on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    Well presented…I agree with you completely!in this modern world where normal children suffering to live up to the expectations of their parents bringing a child knowingly about the difficulties it has to face is cruelty..its the parents choice..esply th

  21. By Nakshathraa on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    Well umberlla, I loved to see the strength of your words..i love women who can express their thoughts with clarity and with tremendous energy…About the issue discussed,i feel u r right..we all deserve to be happy..Even the child also deserves to be happ

  22. By InkTank on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    umbrella gone…….only 22 remains………alas:)

  23. By Pavalamani P on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    Excellent! To be applauded for the courage and clarity of mind!
    Idlemind seems a bit confused about sentimental ideas about ‘motherhood’ in Indian context. And also suspects the clear verdict of test result.
    To bring a deformed child into the world know

  24. By Tapon Flower on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    Nicely put up thoughts not the the thought but the fact,In my view a mother whether legal or illegal does not wan to go for any abortion through her heart,thats why she is mother,but it compiles her to go for the betterment of her beloved new comer.She kn

  25. By Big Apple on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    mrs. Maheta should have done it without going to the court, as the law permits MTP after 20 weeks also if 2 senior docs recommend it. And now as the judiciary and media came in the picture, the matter became complicated. let’s pray for the health of bab

  26. By Saju Thomas on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    A simple question from my side .. What if none of the doctors found this hole in the heart and the baby was born with a deformity . Will they throw the baby or kill . and its sad to hear this from the ladies that this lady should go for abortion. If the

  27. By Vijayaraghav on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    Life is precious. Life is short. But not only that ..Life is also to live ..

    not to suffer!

    I support this piece of advice. A mother has every right to decide whether to deliver the child or not. Are there any fathers who are ready to look after

  28. By Raja on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    aggressively written blog. this would be third blog i am reading about the same issue but the first one by a lady. i totally applaud your courage in saying it out and i completely accept your views. Though some of the comments are not supportive being a d

  29. By Moosje on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    The mother is the most important figure without any debt,I stand completly behind you in this my dear,but even in the west,woman have more rights as at yours but mothers are treaded more or less the same way,I think a mother should get a paycheck for each

  30. By InkTank on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    thts quite debate u hv rustled up bhanu! hats off to ur powerful post!

  31. By Ansyton on Aug 6, 2008 | Reply

    Sex and pregnancy are personal issues. First may be personal but second can not be treated as personal. The second one is not an acquired responsibility by women but it is entrusted with her by nature with full confidence with her. When a woman become pre

  32. By Rajiv S. on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply

    Let us all thank God we all are breathing and existing in a time when we are able to discover and detect the ambiguity and certainty medically, about life, before and after birth. This page of yours say so much for a life before birth, and beyond doubt, a

  33. By Rajiv S. on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply

    Ofcourse well written page from you and yes I know
    the Spanish lingo, not dexterous though.

  34. By InkTank on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply

    loved your profoundly thought provoking and intensely articulate comments on sonia’s poetry! even in the coded format, the meaning is oozing:)

  35. By Sonia Sonia on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply

    Babes so much said and such few alphabets used…lol. It took me a while to decode it, had to consult my book on cryptography!!! lol….I cd only get to "u devil"…rest i dare not repeat on public space……my my what language u use!!!! :D…

  36. By Sonia Sonia on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply

    have added some meanings, see if they fill in the blank blank …:D!1

  37. By Shrihari on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply

    I have found something different to read and think over the topic you have taken. Very nicely with some touchyness in it. Nice subject on wome and their role in life being selected

  38. By savita on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply

    I agree with you in totality. Its better that an unborn child with deformity meets the final destiny then to wait the rest of the life for his death as the parents cannot even think of dying before their special kid as he is totally dependent on them. I e

  39. By Anonymous on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply

    Salam,
    Dear writer, you rightly written "Life is precious, life is short, life is to live not to suffer". Do you have enough evidence on this ground to deliberate the purpose of life ?? Perhaps we have different of opinions. But y

  40. By savita on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply

    It was really a mind blowing post from you regarding your meet with Mr.BOND i mean Inky. I just wanted to see how Inky reacted after reading your post???LOL.

  41. By . Rashmi on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply

    Agreed, there are a lot of complications involved in having & raising up a deformed/diseased child and the parents should have a right to abort it, otherwise what’s the use of science? However, here, in case of MTP there was also a grave risk to the m

  42. By Vio Sno on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply

    Can’t agree more Umbs. Abortion is very much an option for THIS issue.

  43. By Idle Mind on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply

    All my irritation gone after seeing this avatar. OMG, and I thought I was the most handsome around … lolzzzz.

  44. By . on Aug 7, 2008 | Reply

    Oh, what a pic? Please replace that immediately! with old one! Otherwise I shall not get my friend here any more! You will be snatched by the film directors very soon! Take care and TC!

  45. By Mt. F@!rY on Aug 8, 2008 | Reply

    the issue is rather confusing.Please read my comment on idle mind’s blog

  46. By . on Aug 8, 2008 | Reply

    the reddish texure of that pic/
    made my heart beat tic-tic-tic!/
    ……………………..Smiling Sun!

  47. By Sonia Sonia on Aug 8, 2008 | Reply

    Gosh…for a moment i thought maybe ur comment had got overlapped with someome called 22……..lol!! Hey gorgeous lady, grt to see what u look like :)!! Lovely snap !! Also a pleasure to fill in the blank blank!! Howz life otherwise? do have apeek at ur

  48. By Yohan Wolf on Aug 8, 2008 | Reply

    ur blog n my.. "voice not hrd" wen i think of both.. i dnt no wat conclusion to come to

  49. By Yohan Wolf on Aug 8, 2008 | Reply

    gr8 dats so sweet of u…
    u seem hapy to ve me confused…
    but ya.. wil b doin more stuff like d previous posts …

  50. By Rakhi on Aug 8, 2008 | Reply

    i seem to agree in one point..one strong point.its an individual choice.if a person cant take that responcibility,for whatever good or bad reason,how can other outside law make one do that!!!specially in this case when the child said to have slim chance o

  51. By Santosh n on Aug 8, 2008 | Reply

    I think I am too late to comment. Apologies!! Compliments on your new avtar!! Firebrand thoughts dashing looks!! The parents shd have the right to decide whether a physically challenged child needs to see the light of the day, I agree absolutely.But you

  52. By InkTank on Aug 9, 2008 | Reply

    yesterday i saw a whitish rabbit eat a reddish raddish…..lol:)

  53. By Yohan Wolf on Aug 9, 2008 | Reply

    im thinkin of a new post but dats too deep in2a tear.. n i dnt think i shud post it… wat do u say?

  54. By Thats Joey ! on Aug 9, 2008 | Reply

    hey 22 ;) (reminds me of housie) ,!! , i think i am okay till some years enjoying the process that leads to the title of ur blog ;)

  55. By Sumit Ghost on Aug 9, 2008 | Reply

    Thanks for your kind words at my page. @ Profile pix: This is really the Ibibo fresh Face of the month. You look like a model. I envy Anand sir for his meeting with you. Mera number kab aayenga. Take Care & Cheers.

  56. By SecondComing on Aug 10, 2008 | Reply

    OK, first of all I agree with you. Second, have you read a book called "Freakonomics"? In that book, the authors make an astounding proposition. By the 1990’s crime was on a high in USA. No one knew what to do about the steeply rising crime wave

  57. By Anonymous on Aug 10, 2008 | Reply

    hay 22 i’m agree with u i think that sex is a beautiful thing but it is not necessery to do it only for children,so abortion should be legal

  58. By Gopa B on Aug 10, 2008 | Reply

    You are right, of course. A mother has the right not to want to see her child’s lifelong suffering.

  59. By Tingtong on Aug 10, 2008 | Reply

    I suddenly feel very old……may be that’s why i can’t agree with u. If a mother feels a retarded child is a burden …..imagine a healthy woman gets bedridden after an accident & the whole world thinks she is a burden, what will happen to her?
    btw,

  60. By Priya on Aug 11, 2008 | Reply

    you look so cute or attractive dear.ur right dear,but here in spain abortion like crime..and too much expensive..and i face too time..i dont want any child sufer ..u take very senstive issue..

  61. By Anonymous on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply

    very sensitive issue indeed. Media is responsible for the hype. I agree with you tht she should be given the right to abort a child, as she dont want to take the burden. If the mother doesnt want the child, y should the society insist her to keep it. Le

  62. By Anonymous on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply

    hmm matured touch

  63. By Suparna on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply

    AWW MY GAWD! Still spewing fire? You Dragonnnnnnnn!

  64. By Sonia Sonia on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply

    Thanx hun!! Yep, this is the same one, have completed it now. Are u penning down urs too ;) !!! M&b style eh??…lol…i did live on a diet of the same though, during my college days. tc.

  65. By Nishu's on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply

    hi…after reading ur post…I know what my mom has thru..in 3rd time of her pregnancy..she had a miscarriage..we need to be careful during pregnancy… and I have nominated u for Ibibo Asthitva Award

  66. By some one on Aug 12, 2008 | Reply

    Yes friend i do agree with you…"Life is precious. Life is short. But not only that ..Life is also to live ..not to suffer!"
    Why only women suffer why not men…but dear our society is like that people are habituated to this …. i’m also fed

  67. By Vikram on Aug 13, 2008 | Reply

    I completely disagree that only the women has the right to the child and the man has no say in it.

    For a women the pain is more physical and for a man it is more psychological (Mental).

    That is why a Women Psychologically assaults a man but a Man P

  68. By Shrihari on Aug 13, 2008 | Reply

    Do visit my new blog "HOF Members and their last Blog Published (Analysis)". It’s important for all HOF Members to read and comment. JAI HIND. BHARAT MATA KI JAI. HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY

  69. By Nishu's on Aug 14, 2008 | Reply

    hello….pls come to my post and vote for any woman u think….deserves the award……….

  70. By Sumit Ghost on Sep 12, 2008 | Reply

    Thanks for the post. I beg to differ with your views. Is it entirely the baby’s fault that it is deformed? What about the faulty, careless and irresponsible lifestyle that couples follow during pregnancy? With the same logic is it OK for children to kill

  71. By lalli on Sep 30, 2008 | Reply

    hey umbrella..i dont agree wid u dear..maybe vayasu jhasthi ayidichu..thats why..but the fact is..what if the baby born healthily but got any accidental deformity??we,the mothers would like to kill them..?moreover whatz the fault did the baby do?? Ido not agree here..but whatever it is as my mom used to say”Namballale oru sundu viral pannamudiyuma..?”– Can we create a little finger on our own..?Psst..ofcourse i know very well the childs destiny is bleak..but even then as a mother..i cant say yes…anyways no one hv any rights to interfere in one’s own matter..its their wish..but my q’s is why do you need to have *** when u cant face the reality?? when u hv committed u do hv to bear it..thats what my say is..maybe very old fashioned..?hehehe becuming oldie..na..Oops..umbrella such a big comments from me…!!!!srry if i did hurt u in any ways..:(

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