Empire earth is a RTS (Rice that stink) that let the player go from somedate before my grandma was born to someday tomorrow.You make units from re-sources, such as an Encyclopedia or a Dictionary.

 “Why did the mathematician call his dog Cauchy? Because he left a residue at every pole”

~ A joke mathematicians find funny

Daisy Duck is an ambitious female duck who is one of the ten members of the Great Council, which rules over the confederation known as Disneyland, in California. Daisy Duck used to be one of the most aggressive and ambitious members of Disneylands political elite, even going as far to fight her own husband for control of Disneyland.

The Daffodils is a covert group of mercenaries hired by various countries’ special forces for extremely difficult missions. The group recruits only experienced, battle-hardened veterans of such organizations as Boy Scouts and Brownies, although occasionally a former member of the Mickey Mouse Club is accepted.

For the most part, the Daffodils are devoid and destitute of any (see , below), so they do not need armour or real weapons to fight effectively. For example, an ongoing mission to depopulate nightclubs involves going clubbing every night and having  with every thing she sees, thus spreading a nice variety of STDs among the patrons.

“AIDS is to gay people what World of Warcraft is to nerds.”

~ Oscar Wilde on World of Warcraft
The game known to many as World Of Warcraft is actually a virus that will soon encompass all if we do not act quickly to end its tyrannical reign.

“Well, it beats Superman 64. Damn you and your rings, Lex Luthor!”

~ Oscar Wilde on RealPlayer, and probably Superman 64
“I love RealPlayer! And I’m not just saying that because I have to!”

~ Jesus on RealPlayer
“I’m going to fucking kill™ RealPlayer.”

~ Steve Ballmer on RealPlayer
“If you crash randomly, you might be RealPlayer.”

~ Jeff Foxworthy on RealPlayer
“Fuck RealPlayer. I’m gonna smoke a bong full of Froot Loops and go back to bed.”

~ George Carlin on RealPlayer
“In Soviet Russia, RealPlayer makes YOU crash!”

~ Russian Reversal on RealPlayer
“RealPlayer is a media player.”

~ Captain Obvious on RealPlayer
“*Expressive dance and a percussion solo*”

~ Blue Man Group on RealPlayer, I think

Created in 1996 by a band of Elvish terrorists, Neopets were found in a parallel world called Middle Earth. But as they double in number every month, then they have been confined to the internet. A spokesperson from the Protection using Internet for Species Society Of Friendly Furries (PISS OFF) declared that they were taken to the internet, as they were ‘too cute for mankind’. However, it was later revealed in an expose that the Neopets are mostly evil and working for Sauron to reforge the One Ring.

An AWOL NeopetNow an adoption service is available, where you can watch your adopted Neopet behind a firewall. Some insecure terminals have consequently led to barbaric killings, as the Neopets escaped from their internet prison. To avoid this, the adoption agency has since checked computers for security before unleashing the beasts. And armed themselves with tranquilizers (the kind that make people go to sleep for good).

The Neopets spend a lot of their time aimlessly wandering around in cyberspace, but occasionally they get fed and played with (when the owner can remember their password and birthday). Sometimes they enjoy happy games like puzzle solving in the Puzzle Hall, Elf hunting around Murkwood and murdering dwarves in the Colosseum.

Humans have a lot to learn from Neopets, as they are litterally immortal (only starve forever) and are loved by all. Attempts to create a Neopet/Human hybrid have failed, as can be read about in the well documented case of #004: WockyDave2k3.

Skeptics believe that Neopets do not exist, and are a marketing plot to get you to buy merchandise. However, they wouldn’t be able to look the Neopets in their big cute eyes and say it to their faces. That would make dem cwy.

Level 12 and above Digerati can apply to the United States Government for a hunting permit for Neopets, although this permit places an annual limit of 100kg or 50 Neopets, whichever comes first. It is illegal to bait them with Elves, and true Neopet hunters prefer the traditional methods of a skateboard and a harpoon.

Recently, the adoption agency has realized that the neopets have hypnotic powers, up to twelve times more mesmerizing than your average big-eyed kitty kat. This has not affected the popularity of the creatures, in fact, it seems the number of owners has doubled, and is doubling every 2 months. They fear soon neopets will take over our world as well as Middle Earth.

The Neopets website is run by Brits who’s only intention is to make players miserable in their quest to earn enormous amounts of imaginary money. So far, this plot has worked.

The site is also run by homosexual maniacs. That explains why romance and sexual contents are never allowed.

Sometimes, the neopets are bought for large sums of money for “huffing” similar to “kitten huffing” although this attempt to “huff” a neopet can often backfire leading to the neopet huffing you… hence, “In Soviet Russia, Neopets huffs YOU!!!”

Norton Is-a-virus is a popular virus. It is known for it’s ability to perform several denial-of-service attacks at Apple computers at once. It can also wipe out an entire computer in less than 5 seconds.

“The headshot is widely regarded as the greatest invention since the kitten hurling battle.”

~ Gunmen on headshots
“The ethics of a one shot kill could be debated for hours on end, but nobody has that kind of time anymore.”

~ Conan O’Brien on headshot ethics
“BOOM!! HEADSHOT.”

~ FPS Doug on noob
=Origins= I think head shoot are cool but boom head shoot that just lame :p

The headshot was, as all great discoverys are, a total accident. The headshot was invented by a man named Rambo in 1306. He, before becoming the God that he is, used to hunt in the most trivial manner of hitting small animals at larger animals with a paddle. This could be traced back to one of the earliest forms of Gerbil Tennis. This took several hundred small animals and many hours of paddling. Once day, however, Rambo was hunting what he thought was some kind of Moose with a standard variety of ammunition: squirrels, kittens, and the like. He began to open fire on the creature with his laser guided animal paddle, when, in reaching for a squirrel, he mistakenly picked up a 70 ton boulder, and paddled it at the thing. The creature stared blankly at it, smiling, as the boulder crushed the thing’s head into an ugly red paste. The whole incident took 14.86 seconds, giving a 16958.277% efficiency boost from the usual average of 70 hours per kill (In which case the animal usually died of boredom, exhaustion, or starvation as opposed to pain.).

Aerošrot, translatable into English as “Aeroshrot,” and fully translated as “Aerowreck,” is the official Russian airline company.

Aerošrot was founded in the Dark Ages, shortly before the beginning of the modern world. However, since the beginning of the 19th century, the airline’s fleet has remained completely unchanged. While the company has many “safe” wooden planes, as well as a few made of metal, hemp, and loose dirt, these aircraft have a small problem - during flights, nails joining parts of the fuselage together tend to loosen and snap off, causing a variety of problems. Because of this lack of reliability, the Russians decided to build the Trans-Siberian Railway, thereby eliminating their dependence on the national airline company for long-distance transportation to unpleasant, bitterly colds parts of the country.

The quality of Aerošrot reached a low point in 1985, when after the beggining of Mikhail Gorbachev’s reign, the company was forbidden from using the flapping arms of Ukrainian peasants as airplane engines.